You’ve had a lot of friends that you went to school with – which is awesome. When you move to a new city, you could be wondering who to keep and who to let go. You try for a while to keep in touch with your old friends but the busier you get, the harder it will be. Also, you might feel like you don’t have a ton in common with them anymore.

Keeping friends takes effort and determination. You want to be sure you are surrounding yourself with friends that lift you up and support your desires and dreams. Here’s how to gauge whether or not to keep a friend:

How do you feel when you’re around your friend?  

Is your friend supportive of you? When you have a major or minor success is your friend there for you and happy for you? Does she make you feel like you are capable of anything?

Do you have fun with your friend? Is it enjoyable to spend time together? Are you on the same wavelength in terms of how you enjoy your time?  

Does it feel easy? Friendships should be easy – the conversation should flow naturally and you should feel energized by the conversation and not drained.

Mark Twain wrote, “ Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.” Find the gems who make you feel GREAT. 

Is Your Friend a Negative Force in Your Life?

Does she constantly pick holes in what you’re doing?  Does she say you’re not capable of something or that it’s risky? You don’t want to surround yourself with sycophants, but you want to ensure you’re also finding the right kind of people. Does she get jealous when you’re trying to improve yourself by asking for a promotion, working out or networking?

If your friend is always a bummer, you’ll feel it. It’s hard to avoid that feeling where you then start doubting yourself because of something she said. Who needs that? You don’t.

Where to Spend Your Energy

Are you doing all of the work? Are you the one who is always following up? It can be so annoying to do that all of the time. If you love your friendship, it can be worth the energy. If not, then it might be a waste of time.

Yes, it’s hard to think that you may want to keep that friend because you have so much shared history, but if she’s not helping you, she might be hurting you. When you have your sights set on such lofty goals, you want to be sure you can achieve them and surround yourself with people who feel the same way as you do.